


Carjacked

by kez



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama, First Kiss, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29332911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kez/pseuds/kez
Summary: Patrick and David are carjacked on their way back from some vendor visits.Canon AU, where they didn't get together on Grad Night, this is set mid-s4ish I guess.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 18
Kudos: 183





	Carjacked

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks to [Pine67](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pine67/pseuds/pine67) for the beta (and for letting me bully her into sharing fic with me in between work/uni so I don't go crazy-er). This has been muchly improved by her! But any remaining mistakes are my own.

Patrick tried to hide a smile as he listened to David rant about the downpour that had forced them to cut short their vendor visits. Even Patrick had to admit the wind and rain that seemed to come out of nowhere on their third stop of the day was wild. He’d been forced to drive under the speed limit to reduce the effects of the wind buffeting the car. Still, as unpleasant as it was to drive through these conditions, watching David vent was entertaining. And when they’d called Brenda, she’d been very understanding that they wouldn’t be able to stop with her. It was already going to take them nearly three hours – given the weather – to drive back to town from Mr. Hockley’s farm, one of the most distant vendors they had.

“Oh my god, who’d be out in this?” David suddenly exclaimed.

Patrick slowed down, as David pointed out the blurred figure walking along the side of the road, the seeming hitchhiker was holding out his thumb, a bag held over his head in a poor impression of an umbrella.

Patrick slowed down, coming to a stop a few meters in front of the hitchhiker.

“Are we sure we want to let him in the car? He probably smells like a wet dog?” David asked.

Patrick laughed. “Be nice, David.”

The man approached the driver’s side door and Patrick turned just in time to gasp in shock as the driver’s side door was ripped open and the man – young, white, his dark hair lank from the rain – had a gun in Patrick’s face.

Behind him, David let out a suppressed scream.

“Get out of the car!”

Patrick swallowed. “Okay, let’s not...”

The gun shifted past Patrick towards David. “Get out or he’s going to get a new scarf holder, in his neck.”

Patrick scrambled to get his seatbelt off.

“You too,” the hitchhiker said to David. “And drop your wallets and cells on the seats.”

Patrick, aware of the gun, didn’t argue and thankfully neither did David.

The hitchhiker nudged them both back with the gun. Moments later, already soaked to the skin, they watched Patrick’s car, their wallets, cell phones and vendor goods drive away.

“What do we do now?” David asked, his voice high pitched and panicked.

“It’ll be okay, David,” Patrick reassured, even though right at this moment he didn’t know how.

David shivered, teeth starting to chatter.

“Okay,” Patrick said. “We need shelter. We’re too far from anywhere to walk.”

“I’m sure there’s a five-star hotel just behind those trees!” 

Patrick winced. “Well let’s just... I think I saw an old farmhouse a couple of miles back. Didn’t look occupied but it’s got to be better than staying out in this.”

David didn’t entirely look like he agreed but said nothing. Of course, in typical David fashion his expression spoke volumes.

*~*~*~*~*

The walk to the ‘farmhouse’ was wet and miserable. It felt like about a hundred miles – yes David knew he was being hyperbolic, but even his underwear was soaking – before Patrick finally pointed out the house he’d spotted from the road.

It was tiny, more like a cottage than a farmhouse and it looked pretty abandoned. The garden overgrown, the paint peeling and worn on the outside.

“The roof looks intact,” Patrick said. “That’s good.”

“Brilliant,” David snarked, as they trudged through the overgrown grass, Patrick pushing open a rusted, rickety gate.

David knew logically that Patrick didn’t deserve his attitude. But he was cold and wet, he’d had a gun pointed at his face, they were miles from home, all their stuff had been taken and they were probably going to die!

“David, we’re not going to die,” Patrick said.

Oops, David hadn’t meant to say that part out loud. Still. “Hypothermia is a thing, Patrick,” he argued.

“Once we get inside, we can take our wet clothes off and we’ll be fine. The rain won’t last forever and I’m sure if we don’t turn up tonight your family or Ray will raise the alarm.”

“Ha! You’re assuming my family would notice I’m missing!” David said. Alexis might, eventually. 

He wasn’t touching ‘we can take our wet clothes off’ with a long pole, because no. That was absolutely not going to happen. David didn’t need Patrick seeing him naked, or mostly naked and running a mile. That would kill the tiny little bit of hope David had that Patrick’s flirting was genuine interest and not just a bit of harmless fun. David knew that it _was_ but at least that tiny flicker of hope let him have the odd fantasy without feeling like a complete asshole and he’d really miss not being able to at least _think_ about Patrick’s fucking amazing thighs and strong, competent hands on him.

“It’ll be okay, David,” Patrick promised, as they finally made it to the covered porch at the front of the cottage.

“Hmm,” David grouched. “Can we actually get inside?”

Patrick tried the door, but of course it was locked. David gave Patrick a pointed look.

“It’s fine,” Patrick said, turning slightly and shoving the door with his shoulder. It didn’t budge at first, but then Patrick took a step back and gave it another go.The door creaked and the lock broke.

David was glad he was too cold to even think sexy thoughts, because wow.

*~*~*~*~*

The inside of the cottage was dark and Patrick doubted there was electric, but he tried the lights anyway. David snorted behind him. “It was worth trying,” Patrick defended. “We should look around, see if we can find anything useful.”

“A working phone, a shower and a hot meal would be lovely,” David said.

Patrick chuckled. Wouldn’t it just? “I think we may have to lower our expectations. Blankets, sheets, candles. Do you want to split up?”

“Um, so we can be murdered alone?” David looked aghast.

“Yes, David, so we can be murdered alone,” Patrick teased. “Okay, we’ll stay together, let’s go.”

The house, to David’s great disappointment, did not have a working phone, or a working shower and a hot meal was off the menu due to both lack of anything to cook on, or anything to cook.

But they did find a cupboard with several – admittedly tatty – pillows, sheets and weirdly a box of baby wipes and diapers. No candles, or anything else useful, but Patrick would take whatever small successes they could.

“Okay, if we get these wet clothes off, we can wring them out, wrap the sheets around us,” Patrick said.

“Hard pass,” David said.

“David, we’re both soaked, if we stay in these clothes, we really will get hypothermia,” Patrick said. “Come on, it’s fine. I won’t look, I promise.”

“Gee thanks,” David snarked.

“I’ll go first if it helps,” Patrick offered, even though if he was honest he wasn’t overly thrilled about the idea of stripping down either. But it was better than the alternative.

“Fine,” David sighed.

Patrick patted his arm. “Bathroom’s probably the best place, no point getting water everywhere,” he said, leading them towards the bathroom they’d located at the back behind what appeared to have been the master bedroom, where they’d found the sheets.

He had changed in a million changing rooms over the years, between various team sports and time at the gym and he’d never cared, never felt... nervous about it. It was ridiculous that he did now – apparently suddenly realising at 30 you were gay made you second guess a lot of things you wouldn’t have before – but he shoved the feeling as far down as he could and started to unbutton his sopping wet shirt.

David wasn’t _watching_ him, turned slightly away, but Patrick still felt very aware of his presence as he wrung out the shirt, wincing at how much water came out of it and hung it over the edge of the bath. Next came the shoes and socks, the shoes were probably a lost cause altogether but he set them beside the bath and draped the socks beside the shirt. He was psyching himself up mentally for the jeans – it was fine, it wasn’t like he was stripping for David for... that – when he saw David move out of the corner of his eye and the black sweater he’d been wearing coming over his head.

Patrick couldn’t deny to himself how his mouth went dry at the sight.

“You weren’t supposed to be looking!” David crossed his arms over his chest, wet sweater still in hand.

“Sorry,” Patrick muttered, turning away quickly, so David couldn’t see the blush he was sure was gracing his cheeks.

He’d _thought_ about how David would look. Of course he had. He was newly – sort of out? To himself at least – and David was gorgeous. Hell David was hands down the most beautiful person Patrick had ever set eyes on. But seeing his chest, even if only briefly. He was glad he was so cold there was no way his body could react. But he knew as soon as he was alone, there was no way he wasn’t going to spend a more than reasonable amount of time imagining what it would be like to touch. To run his fingers through the dark thatch of hair, to tug it lightly, to nuzzle against it, to feel it pressed against his own chest.

Fuck.

Patrick wrung his jeans so tightly it hurt, in an effort to keep himself distracted from looking at David, or worse, doing something stupid like reaching out to touch all that beautiful lightly tanned skin.

*~*~*~*~*

David focused entirely on his own clothes, on wringing as much water from them as he could before laying his sweater out as best he could over the sink and hoping it wasn’t going to be completely ruined by the treatment it had received. His jeans at least were safe, once they dried out they should be unharmed. His socks and underwear would be fine too, although he didn’t hold out much hope for his shoes, soaked through and covered in mud from their trek across the unkempt garden.

“If we leave them a bit to dry,” Patrick said. “Um, I know the sheets aren’t the warmest, but we have a few, if we double up and huddle together, it... it should be fine. Pillows under us so we aren’t sitting on the cold floor.”

“Right,” David said. Huddle. God, why did Patrick have to be such a boy scout? Why did he have to know things about survival, like not staying in wet clothes and huddling for warmth and... what else was he going to suggest? David – who hadn’t thought he could ‘survive’ without access to at least 3 good takeout places in a one block radius before coming to Schitt’s Creek – had no idea what else might constitute survival tactics and wasn’t sure how much more he could take if he was honest. But since he couldn’t _say_ that, he took his sheet clad self and followed Patrick to the pillows.

Patrick set them down on the floor by the wall furthest from the windows and closed the bedroom and bathroom doors to seal the room as much as was possible, before sitting on their ‘nest’ of three rather pathetic looking pillows.

“Come on,” he encouraged, patting the pillow beside him. David sat gingerly. Well, it wasn’t much better than sitting on the floor, but beggars etc. 

Patrick moved so they were pressed together all down his right side.

“If we die like this, people will talk,” David said.

Patrick laughed. “We’re not going to die, David.”

“Hmm,” David tried to put doubt into the sound he made, but... he knew Patrick was right. Trusted that when Patrick said they’d be ok, he meant it. That Patrick would make sure of it.

Patrick nudged slightly against him and they slipped into silence for a bit.

*~*~*~*~*

Patrick didn’t remember falling asleep; but waking with his head on David’s shoulder and David’s soft breathing in his ear was... nice.

“Oh, I thought you’d slipped into a coma and might die,” David teased. “There goes my plans for Patrick stew for dinner.”

Patrick snorted. “Like you know how to cook a stew. Also, just meat isn’t really a stew. Where are you going to find vegetables? Rummage through the undergrowth? Do you know what plants are poisonous, David?”

“Rude,” David grumbled, but he was chuckling softly.

“Well, you did just threaten to eat me,” Patrick said.

“I’m very hungry,” David complained. “I haven’t eaten in hours, Patrick.”

“I promise when we get back to town I will buy you the biggest pizza we can get delivered. Two. And Chinese. And ice cream.”

“Pepperoni, extra cheese?”

“You bet,” Patrick said. Like they ever ordered anything else on the occasions they’d shared a pizza.

They slipped back into silence for a little while, before David shifted slightly, making Patrick aware that his head was still resting on David’s shoulder. He moved quickly. “Um... sorry...”

“It’s fine,” David said. “Just a little numb sitting so long.”

“Yeah,” Patrick agreed softly. “Sorry. For you know, getting us carjacked.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” David said. “I’d have stopped too.”

“Even if he’d smell like a wet dog?”

David laughed. “Even then. I’m sorry I was so... rude, before. I was just... freaked out. It may surprise you to know I don’t handle stress well.”

“I’d never noticed,” Patrick teased.

“Rude,” David grumbled. “If... if he had you know... um shot us, or... is there anything you’d regret?”

It was a question so far out of left field, Patrick didn’t know what to say for a minute. “Um... I guess. Doesn’t everyone have regrets?”

“I... I don’t know if I would. Now. Before... before I had a million regrets. Even if I’d _never_ have admitted them. Not seeing my family much, not really being close to them, not having any real friends – friends that actually liked me and not just my name, or my parents money – not having a business I could be proud of. Not that I knew at the time that I couldn’t be. I guess I’d... I’d like to keep seeing the store grow and see Alexis... she’s doing so well now. Really growing up. But I’d be... content, I guess. Not that I _want_ to die yet!”

“I didn’t think you did,” Patrick assured. “And you should be content. You should be happy. David, you’ve done an amazing thing. Your whole life got ripped out from under you and you’ve flourished. And I don’t know anything about the friends you used to have but clearly they were idiots, because you’re... you’re pretty amazing. I’m lucky to call you my friend and to get to take this journey with you, with the store.”

“Thank you,” David said quietly. “I’m... I’m really glad you invested, Patrick. The store wouldn’t be doing half as well without you.”

“You’d have found a way to make it work,” Patrick insisted.

*~*~*~*~*

David settled into the silence with a smile on his face at Patrick’s words. Having Patrick believe in him like that... it was... it was really nice. It was more than nice. It made David wish for other things he couldn’t have. So maybe one regret.

“I’d regret never having kissed a man,” Patrick said eventually.

David couldn’t help the jolt of surprise. “Oh?”

Patrick chuckled, although it sounded humourless. “I... I’m gay,” he said. “I didn’t... I was engaged. To a woman. She was amazing. Smart, funny, kind, beautiful... we’d been together on and off for half our lives and no matter how hard I tried, it never felt right. And then one day... I just couldn’t anymore. I left. I found the first job that I could that was at least a half a day’s drive and just... and I still didn’t get _why_ it didn’t feel right with her, not right away. I can’t even remember why... what changed, what made me think about... but once I did, I realised there were a million different clues over the years I’d missed. But I just... there isn’t exactly a bustling nightlife in Schitt’s Creek anyway and I guess I’ve been...nervous about putting myself out there.”

“Thank you,” David said. “For telling me. For sharing that. I know it... can’t have been easy.”

“I’ve never told anyone, not... I’m not ashamed. I’m... it feels good, to finally _understand_ , I just...”

“Patrick, it doesn’t matter if you’ve told a thousand people or just yourself. What you’re dealing with is very personal. No one else gets to decide when or if you tell people, or who you tell,” David said.

“Thank you,” Patrick told him, leaning his head back against David’s shoulder. “I just... it’s sort of frivolous I guess, it’s not like kissing a guy would make me more or less gay, I just...”

“You’re right, it wouldn’t. But it’s not frivolous. It’s a part of your identity you are just learning about. Wanting to experience that to its fullest isn’t frivolous. Um...” David paused; words perched on his tongue that he absolutely should not indulge. “I... know we aren’t actually going to die here but... um... I am... a man. If... um... sorry, that was stupid, forget it...”

“Really?” Patrick sat up, turning so that the warmth of him was lost from David’s side, eyes questioning.

“I mean... yes, but... I’d completely understand if you didn’t want to. I’m sure you’d rather your first kiss with a man was with someone more, um... your type. If you even have a type. I don’t know if...”

“David...” Patrick interrupted. “I’d really like it if you kissed me.”

“Oh.”

*~*~*~*~*

Patrick sighed softly as David’s lips pressed against his own. It was soft and careful and more tender than anything Patrick ever remembered a kiss being. And god, it felt... like he finally _understood_ what all the fuss was about.

Patrick’s fingers clung to the sheet wrapped around David as he opened his mouth, inviting David to deepen the kiss, a soft moan rising in his throat. David’s fingers curled against his jaw, thumb stroking along the barely-there stubble.

“David,” Patrick murmured, against David’s lips. 

“Uh huh,” David sighed softly, his breath warm against Patrick’s mouth. “Can I...?”

“God yes,” Patrick breathed, relieved that David had put his own desire into words, their mouths sliding back together easily.

Patrick let himself get lost in David’s mouth, in the warmth, the slick slide of their tongues, the tease of teeth. He was... so fucking turned on. He could scarcely believe a kiss had made him feel more than _anything_ else had in years. David was making him feel more with just a kiss than any woman ever had.

“Patrick...” David pulled back, nuzzling slightly against his jaw. “Is this... okay? I’m...”

“I wanted it to be you,” Patrick admitted softly.

“Huh?” David blinked at him, eyes dark, cheeks flush.

“I wanted... I’ve thought about... this. Maybe not exactly, you know... _this_ but...”

“Oh,” David clearly struggled to hide a smile.

Patrick didn’t try to suppress his own smile. He’d wanted David for months and given up any hope of actually... and now having David in his arms, the taste of him on his lips. Patrick was... honestly, he might need to send the carjacker a thank you card. “David?” 

“Hmm, yeah?”

“I’d really like to kiss you again,” Patrick said.

David’s tongue flicked out briefly, wetting his lips. “I would... really like that too.”

Patrick let his hands travel freely this time, releasing his hold on the sheet to tangle in David’s hair, to stroke along his jaw, to brush his thumb over the pulse point on his throat and feel his heart racing as much as Patrick’s was.

“David?” Patrick panted softly against David’s jaw, enjoying the rough burn of stubble against his lips.

“Hmm, yeah? Yes?” David sounded just as wrecked, which was... at least as exciting as the kisses themselves.

“I’d really like to... can I take you out to dinner?” Patrick asked.

“Check ‘first date with a man’ off your bucket list too?”

“First date with you,” Patrick said firmly. “Hopefully the first of... many?”

David’s face twisted into another barely suppressed smile. “I’d um, yes. That would be... nice.”

Patrick couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled so much while kissing someone and he couldn’t wait to find out if it would always be like this.

*~*~*~*~*

David had no idea why they’d fallen asleep, but it was pitch black when he opened his eyes again. His back and neck were killing him, but Patrick was warm against him and despite literally being wrapped in a sheet, he was pleasantly warm.

“It sounds like the rain has stopped,” Patrick murmured softly.

“Should we try and...?” David surprisingly didn’t really want to move.

“It’s too dark to try and find our way,” Patrick said. “We’d be better waiting until it gets light. But we should see if our clothes are dried.”

Reluctantly, David allowed Patrick to move away and help him to his feet, wincing as his body protested about moving for the first time in several hours.

“You okay?”

“Stiff,” David admitted.

“Same,” Patrick agreed. “Shame we aren’t exactly set up for a massage here.”

“Do you know how to _give_ one? It’s incorrect to let an amateur massage you. They can do more harm and...”

“David... I know how to give a massage. I actually took a class once with my ex. We were given vouchers for Christmas or something,” Patrick said.

“Well... okay then,” David said. “Any other interesting skills you’d like to share?”

Patrick smirked. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

*~*~*~*~*

Patrick was awake, before the sun had even finished rising. It wasn’t light enough to start trying to make their way back to town and while it wasn’t exactly comfortable, sitting on a cold, hard floor with nothing but a couple of pillows and some thin sheets... Patrick was perfectly content not to move just then, so he let David continue to snuffle softly in his ear, until the rising sun woke him.

“Ugh,” David mumbled.

“Good morning to you too,” Patrick teased.

“Ugh, mornings are not good,” David complained. “Especially not when I have no coffee, or shower and...”

Patrick silenced the complaints with a closed mouthed kiss.

“Kissing with morning breath is incorrect,” David said, but he still returned it, when Patrick kissed him again.

“We should get a move on,” Patrick said reluctantly, breaking the kiss.

David made a soft, disagreeable sound but he stood when Patrick did, the two of them stumbling slightly, as they threw off the sheets and found their feet, stretching out sore muscles.

It obviously hadn’t started raining again over night, but the garden was still wet and muddy as they made their way back towards the road. It was almost a pleasant day and Patrick found himself wishing they were walking for some other reason. Imagining taking David on a picnic. Or maybe to those botanical gardens he’d mentioned once or twice in Elm Valley. Walking along a beach somewhere. Or through the park near his parent’s house back home.

Patrick was so lost in – and honestly giddy about – all the possibilities, that he didn’t even realise he’d reached out to take David’s hand in his, until he heard David’s surprised squeak.

“Sorry...” he went to pull away, just because David had kissed him, had agreed to dinner it didn’t mean... but David held on.

“I just wasn’t expecting... um... not a lot of people have necessarily wanted to hold my hand in public,” David admitted softly.

“David,” Patrick tightened his own grip. “I want to hold your hand anywhere you’ll let me.”

David gave a little half grin, letting Patrick close the space between them, to press a kiss – how many had it been now? In just a few hours? Patrick had lost count, but each one had made his body _sing_ \- to David’s mouth, as he kept their fingers tangled together between them.

Both of them jumped, as a honking horn disturbed the moment, Patrick turning in time to see a police cruiser pull up alongside the road.

“David Rose and Patrick Brewer?” the cop questioned as soon as he stepped out of his vehicle. “I’m Officer Preston.”

“Yes,” Patrick nodded. “That’s us. I’m Patrick Brewer, this is David Rose.”

“You were reported missing last night, by...” the cop flipped open his notebook. “Alexis Rose and Stevie Budd.”

“We were carjacked. Stopped to help what looked like a hitchhiker in the storm, he had a gun. Took my car and our wallets and phones,” Patrick explained. “We took shelter in a house back there, until this morning.”

“Looks like you fellas were lucky, being out in that storm wouldn’t have been good, there are a bunch of trees and several power lines down in the area,” the cop said. “Hop on in the back there and I’ll take you back to town. I’ll need to get a statement on the carjacker.”

“Of course,” Patrick said. “See David, I told you that they’d notice we were missing.”

“Well Alexis and Stevie did anyway,” David said. “Ugh, they’re going to hold this over us forever.”

Patrick... didn’t particularly feel bad about that, all things considered.

*~*~*~*~*

David finally felt more human. 

He’d showered until the water had run freezing, brushed his teeth several times and gone through his skincare routine twice. Along with several cups of coffee and three cinnamon buns from the lobby, he could almost forget that he’d spent the night in an abandoned farmhouse.

They’d gone over everything with the officer in the motel’s lobby, before Stevie had offered to drive Patrick back to Ray’s and David had retreated to his own room.

He’d desperately wanted a moment alone with Patrick just to... something. Make sure they were still... on the same page? It had seemed like it. Patrick kissed him again that morning, several times, morning breath and all. And he’d held David’s hand the entire way back to town, only letting go when they had to get out of the car. But David’s parents and sister had been all over them once they arrived back and David hadn’t known any way to get a moment with Patrick without it being embarrassingly obvious that that’s what he was trying to do.

David was debating if he should just go over – they’d need to talk about the store, he could just make it seem like business, they’d lost some stock and they’d been closed today when they should have been open – to Ray’s when there was a knock at the door and Alexis bound up to answer it before he had a chance.

“Patrick!” Alexis greeted loudly. “Are you feeling better now? David was in the shower for like, a year.”

“I spent a good nine months in there myself,” Patrick said. “But yeah, thanks. Feeling a bit more human. Just came to talk to David about some stuff. The police called; they found my car out past Elmvale. It was crashed into a ditch, but they said that it looked like everything except the cash and cards from our wallets and our phones are still there. Some of it may be salvageable. They are going to tow the car to Bob’s, so we can go through everything and see what we need to claim back on the insurance.”

“That’s good,” David said, from his place on the bed. “Do they...”

“This is super interesting, but David you’ll be, like, fine if I go out right? Patrick’s here, so you won’t be on your own!”

“I don’t need a sitter, Alexis!” David said. 

“Ugh, fine. I was just trying to be supportive after your ordeal, David! I’ll see you later then. Bye Patrick!”

“Uh yeah, see you Alexis,” Patrick waved as she grabbed her bag and was out the door in moments.

“David, don’t take this the wrong way, I like your sister,” Patrick said.

“Okay?”

“Just... I’m really glad she’s gone,” he said in a rush.

“Oh,” David smiled slightly.

“I wanted to talk to you... alone.” Patrick said, sitting down beside David on the bed.

David shuffled to bring them a little closer. “Well, we appear to be alone now.”

Patrick nodded, ducking his head. “I just, uh, wanted to make sure... I meant everything I said last night David. I want... I want to take you out to dinner. And to the movies and for picnics and drives in the country and just... lots of dates. As many as you’ll let me honestly.”

“I’d really like that, Patrick. But um... maybe not drives in the country?”

Patrick laughed. “Okay, that’s fair. Can I kiss you again?”

David didn’t even try to hide his smile. “I thought you’d never ask.”


End file.
